Single’s Day

One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know.
Two can be as bad as one…

Thus starts the song, and intones the chorus of “One is the Loneliest Number”, first released in 1967. That was the time of the Viet Nam war, when our young men were drafted into service and going off to die for what some still say was only a police action and others flat out call a senseless war.

Apparently the Chinese agree with the sentiment that ‘one’ is the loneliest number, and so they dedicate November 11th of each year to be Single’s Day. On that day, ‘singles’ far and wide greet each other and encourage each other in their quest for love. Conversely if the ‘single’ enjoys the single life, he or she gets encouragement in that direction. I didn’t write about Single’s Day last year because I had a different tribute for our Veterans in mind (See last years Nov. 11th post).

Yes, in China November 11th is a frivolous, fun celebration. In America it is anything but.

As always I must pay tribute to the valiant men and women who have faced combat and come back changed. My most precious veteran is my dear son-in-law, Garrett who, during his tour of duty in Iraq lost his best friend.

That was one life lost on that day, one instance that sent shockwaves back across the ocean to impact my daughter and me. Taylor’s death brought the reality of war home to Jennifer in the most cruel and vicious way possible. Till then, Jennifer had glossed over all matters concerning the war. Perhaps she just rationalized her husband’s absence as his being out on maneuvers, or off on a drill or exercise somewhere. On that one day, when her husband called, she realized this was not a case of ‘the boys’ being in the field or on maneuvers. This was for real. Lives are being lost. Loved ones are not returning home. Her husband had been standing right next to his friend, his partner, his teammate and that person died, not her Garrett. She never expressed it but I could see in her eyes the realization that, but for a few millimeters, it could have been her loved one not returning home.

Jennifer grew up a little on that day. Garrett was changed forever. Taylor’s family suffered a loss that I would not be able to endure. That is just one soldier’s fate, and the consequences that those back home, who wait with bated lives, suffer.

In no way do I pretend to understand how a mother can bear to bury her child. By no means am I conveying that I comprehend the loss a spouse or a child feels at the desolate sound of Taps being played in his/her partner’s or parents’ honor. I can only pay tribute to those with the fortitude to answer their call of duty, hoping to come back safe and sound. And I render my heartfelt condolences to those who left their innocence behind, slaughtered on the battlefield, like my dear Garrett did on that day.

I believe that no one will argue with me that Veterans are maligned. And, Viet Nam Veterans are possibly the most maligned. Their homecoming was anything but a hero’s welcome, if you’ll remember. Now, like all other citizens, Veterans are losing benefits and entitlements especially designed for them while living in the very country they fought to defend. So I find the connection between that song ‘One is the Loneliest Number’, released during the Viet Nam era, Veteran’s Day and the Chinese celebrating Singles’ Day rather eerie, don’t you?

The Chinese chose November 11th to be a celebration of Singles across the country because of the date: 11/11. This year it was particularly popular because of the year: 2011. Thus, this year’s Singles’ Day fell on 11/11/11. That is a lot of ‘one’! Apparently they feel that ‘one’ is the loneliest number too.

So what types of activities take place on Singles’ Day in China? Lone diners get their meals for free. Some coffee houses and clubs sponsor special events to encourage the ‘ones’ to become ‘twos’. Mostly it is a lighthearted time where friends wish each other a nice celebration and offer encouragement for the long and sometimes fruitless quest to find love.

Many of my friends are aware that I am single, so I got a lot of supportive text messages. I sent equally bolstering messages back. I found it very ironic when Gary called that evening to let me know he would be out of town a lot between now and mid-December, but after that we need to get together to plan our next trip… possibly over Spring Festival?

“But Gary, you have to be home with your family for Spring Festival, don’t you?”

“No, I do not want my family to ask me ‘Gary, why aren’t you married yet?’ or say other things about me not being married, so I do not want to be with my family at that time.”

How ironic is it that he called me on Singles’ Day to arrange a trip for 2 months hence because he did not want his family to harass him for being single?

I took occasion to tease him about being single and he ribbed me right back. We laughed a little bit, good friends and veterans of the Singles’ War.

Had he been a veteran of the more serious type of wars, I would have saluted him with deference and humility, as I salute and honor you, esteemed Veterans.