As I’ve said before: traveling with my new friends proved enlightening and fun in ways I never anticipated but always dreamed of. Part of this vagabond movie that plays in my head involves roaming around the countryside with a companion or two, talking with locals, enjoying the sights and not really worrying about anything. That is exactly what this weeklong sojourn with Gary and Mask was like.
Yes, we went to new and interesting places. I’ve already told you about them. What I can’t tell you about was what we talked about during those 7 days. Not because it is a big secret but because the conversation flowed so easily and naturally that the whole trip stands out as a pleasant experience, not just an isolated conversation or two.
Well, there was that one day we spent laughing. We laughed so long and so hard my face and stomach ached. So did Gary’s. Mask made no such disclosure, but judging by the way he was guffawing right along with us and, toward the end of the day, was holding his stomach and massaging his jaws, he had to have been feeling the same thing. That day stands out.
So does the subtle change of attitude after the giant crater expedition. I make no bones about myself and I put on no airs with these guys. They know I am several years older than they are, and I believe that was part of their solicitousness toward me at the beginning of this trip. At the outset there was a muted deference toward me that, at first I ascribed to us being not quite such good friends yet, but later believed had more to do with my age. After matching them step for step first into, and then out of the giant crater their attitude changed for the better and I felt more of a sense of solidarity from them. More like being on par with their whole idea of adventure and physical exertion.
My goodness but these guys can eat! Most Chinese assume that, because I am so big I must consume a ton of food. That is not the case. The Chinese, for the most part, tend to eat way more than I do. Even when my stomach started behaving I could not keep up with the guys’ food consumption, let alone match it. Yet they are both skinny as rails, and energetic as…, well, as energizer bunnies. I am in no way upset about that. I enjoyed being on the go all day, every day, especially after the giant crater experience. It felt so good to get out, stretch my legs, move and do something every day. Maybe I should take note of that.
These guys are attractive, intelligent, handsome, successful men. Why they are single is a mystery to me. They can be silly or serious, and they both have a great sense of humor. Gary, having traveled the world, is more cosmopolitan that Mask, our ‘tradition man’. Gary’s English is very good and Mask is working hard to match Gary’s ability. Communication with both of them was no problem. They took turns helping me with Chinese, giving me what could be termed daily lessons. I asked the questions, they gave me the answers. I did the same for them with regard to English and to Western culture.
I learned a lot on this trip. I learned that Chinese people talk to each other. I watched and listened as my friends, usually Gary because he is more outgoing, simply approached strangers on the street or in restaurants and asked them questions. He would start with “Excuse me Friend, could you tell me…” and pose his question. Somehow he was able to wrangle not only the information he wanted but tons more that he didn’t even ask for. Or, when we rented private cars and taxis, the guys would just start talking away,
‘hail fellow well met’ type of talking with the driver. When I think about my experiences in the States, how people are so often afraid to talk to one another that they barricade themselves into their cars and their houses, or they walk away from you if you ask for directions I must declare that I vastly prefer having this type of encounter in China. And I wouldn’t dream of getting into a total stranger’s car in the States!
I thought of all these things both while on the boat and on the train, being gently rocked in my berth. This trip was what I wanted every one of my sojourns into Chinese countryside to be: merry, laid back and with a couple of good friends to share it with. The prospect of going on explorations alone has lost its shine because this trip has been sublime.
Not only do I have the difference between traveling with companions versus by myself to consider, but now I have the added worry that not every hotel is able to accept foreigners. Granted that is not much of an issue when I visit the larger cities because there are hotels everywhere. But what about when I start visiting the smaller towns? Let’s say I approach a cabbie and ask them to take me to a hotel. I can’t chat him or her up like Gary and Mask did, and I’m likely to be cheated, like I was when I visited Yi Chang by myself. Nor can I bargain for a cheaper hotel room rate. Quite the contrary: being a foreigner, I would likely be charged the highest rate possible, even when I indicate that I am capable of speaking Chinese and I understand the pricing guide, thus implying there is no use in trying to cheat me. I have actually been told, on one occasion, that those rates were outdated.
I was able to be myself with these guys: raucous and serious, daring and daunting, quiet and affable, as the mood struck me and them. I liked that part. If/when I hit the road again, I would want to hit it with them. But it is not fair to expect them to be able to travel when I want to, nor is it fair to expect them to always want to travel with me. They had lives before I came along, and they have other friends; probably ones that they do not constantly have to change languages to communicate with. And they maybe even have friends who are closer to them in age that like to micro-blog and do things that they like to do.
Our little trio has at least two more trips planned together: Xiamen and Xi’an. I’m already looking forward to them. Should I wait for those trips? Only in the sense that I do believe that they will come to pass. Much as I do not want to do things by myself all the time anymore, I can see myself going on a trip or two alone in the meantime. Why, just this morning I woke up thinking of Nanjing. I’ve never been there and it is only 6 hours away.
And then there’s the speech competitions, held in a small town outside Wuhan. We’ll have to go there on Friday night to be ready for Tony’s competition on Saturday morning, and Evan’s competition is on Sunday. So it appears that soon I will be taking at least a weekend trip with company. Maybe not the company I would like to travel with – always risky traveling with students, and both Helens are going (see Daisy, Helen, Hellen and Mouse entry, posted June of this year.) Sam will also go, but it would not be fair for me to monopolize all of his time. And, I daresay that I probably will not be able to fully be myself – the rumor mill runs rampant on campus. Unless I want my sterling reputation ruined, no occasional glasses of wine or that after dinner cigarette for me.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if my new reluctance to travel has to do with the fact that I’ve tasted how sweet it is to travel with such perfect companions, or if I like my new apartment so much that leaving it is harder to do, or if I’ve had enough of traveling this summer to last me for a while, or if it is just that it is starting to get colder and I really don’t want to brave the elements in favor of frisking about here and there. It could well be a combination of all of these factors.
Some vagabond I am… right?
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