Greyhound Gets a Bad Rap

I’ve said it before, and warned you that I’ll say it again: Greyhound has got a bad rap. I am now saying it again.

Bus lore has it that one takes their life into their own hands when traveling by bus. The buses are dirty and poorly maintained, uncomfortable and unreliable. The caliber of people riding the bus are bottom of the barrel, shifty and scary, untrustworthy and as likely to steal from you as they are to have a prison record.
I’ve ridden a grand total of 6,700 miles give or take, this summer. All of it on Greyhound buses.

In some cases, I’ve spent longer riding than visiting. Such was the case with getting to Memphis (see entry titled Fort Worth, that black hole of transportation.)

Sometimes I was tempted to agree with the passengers who grumbled that Greyhound doesn’t know what they are doing, that they don’t care about their passengers, that they mismanage the whole operation.

Like the time I got stuck in Dallas for an entire day because of my missed early morning connection which was supposed to become an early afternoon ride into Memphis, which turned out to be an overnight ride. And at that, the people loading passengers into the buses loaded buses for every other destination but ours, while we stood in line fuming, for an extra hour.

And then in Atlanta, where my layover was only supposed to last an hour and a half but stretched itself out for an additional two hours, causing me to miss my early morning Orlando connection to Tampa? It was already agonizing to be on the same continent as my precious Gabriel but not be in his vicinity; why would Greyhound cause me to wait these additional hours before I can hold him in my arms?

Don’t these people care?

Well, yes, they do. Not about me specifically. They have a huge fleet to manage, carefully planned schedules to maintain and logistics problems, just like any transport division. They have buses that break down and traffic issues to plan contingencies for, they have a shortage of drivers and a dearth of vehicles. They have a package express service that will move anything from small, plastic totes to large pieces of furniture and car parts that they transport and deliver all across the United States. They have safety and DOT regulations to abide by, speed limits to comply with, OSHA regulations to hold their employees to and passengers who want to get to their destinations.

I can’t imagine them being lackadaisical about their service, can you?

In all cases the drivers piloting the coaches I rode on were at the very least professional. Some were downright affable like Alan, our driver from L.A. to Denver and back. Others were made of sterner stuff: they did not even give their name when they took over driving the coach. They just announced the name of the depot we were approaching. Every driver wore their safety vest and every driver fastened their seatbelt before disengaging the handbrake and rolling. Every driver obeyed every safety rule of the road, and every federal regulation that I am aware of. Some drivers made passenger counts after rest stops, but most just relied on the fact that we are all adults and it was our responsibility to be back on the bus on time. One driver in particular transported one passenger to another bus and personally escorted him to the other bus, explaining that that passenger had missed his earlier coach and needed to be on the express coach driven by his colleague. Considering he was one of the more taciturn drivers, I was surprised at this bit of kindness.

Indeed, Greyhound does get a bad rap. Especially compared to Chinese long distance buses. Here is one time that I prefer an American concession to a Chinese one. Shocked? Don’t be: I prefer Amtrak to Chinese trains too. I just wish that Amtrak were more affordable and covered more territory. There are some parts of America that Amtrak doesn’t even cover!

But now, for those Chinese buses, before I continue heaping praise onto Greyhound.

Chinese long distance buses are not of a standard fleet variety, like Greyhound is. Some of those buses look like they wouldn’t make it to the next town, let alone a town 2 hours away. Conversely, some buses are quite luxurious and virtually new. All of the buses I’ve ridden are standard shift. The drivers have the annoying habit of taking the bus out of gear once it achieves proper speed and letting it coast until it needs to get up to speed again. I think it is because Chinese buses do not have cruise control and the driver is resting his foot, but it is annoying nevertheless, and does nothing to conserve gas.

Some Chinese buses that really go long-haul, such as those that have destinations twelve hours away, actually have beds, made up with white linens and billowy pillows, instead of seats. I’ve seen them go by and vow to travel on one such bus, just to experience what it feels like. For now, I will tamp down my jealousy at those cruising to their destinations in comfort, propped up on an elbow on their bed, reading a magazine and continue talking about trying to curl my 6’frame into a single seat.

I could have used a bus with a bed on some of the longer legs of this cross-country trip I made though.

Last note about Chinese buses: they too stop for rest/potty breaks every so often, and the travelers behave pretty much the same way as American travelers do on such breaks: they get off the bus, throw their trash away, stretch, light up, converse, relieve themselves and buy snacks if the rest stop is at a store.

Back to Greyhound now, and their passengers.

There is solidarity among Greyhound passengers. Not just because everyone, or nearly everyone plays “Trump This” (see previous entry) but because we are all on a journey. Everyone on a Greyhound is going somewhere, for some purpose. In all my travels I have not run across anyone who was riding that bus for the fun of it. This gives us all a sense of kinship whether we look expensive or bedraggled, whether we are educated or can barely speak the language.

Another unifying factor of Greyhound bus riders: tattoos. I’ve seen more tattooed people this summer on the bus than I’ve seen anywhere else, ever. Being as I have never attended a tattoo convention or a bike rally or any other event where tattooed people are likely to hang out, I’m thinking this is a fair statement. I have been to rock’n’roll concerts, but not everyone evidenced being tattooed. Nevertheless, for the comparatively small population of a Greyhound bus – 55 passengers at a time, there were a lot of tattoos. Matter of fact, I may well have been a minority for not having a tattoo to display. Even older women displayed tattoos!

In spite of what genteel society might consider undesirable characters, if only for their appearance, I found that trust is a benchmark of Greyhound riders. At first I thought it was of paramount importance to take my black bag with me when I got off the bus. It contained my passport, my money and food – all those things desired by less than trustworthy people. But, when we started with those overnight rest stops and I was too tired and groggy to lug myself off the bus let alone remember to grab my bag, I just left it on the bus. Guess what? It never moved from where I left it. I got into the habit of just leaving my bag on the seat when I got off the bus and, in all the miles I traveled, never once was anything of mine taken or even disturbed.

So, not only does Greyhound have a bad rap, its passengers do too. Sure, the bus depot is in a bad part of town and you’ll get no argument from me when you say that it is surrounded by unsavory looking characters. But, having sat side by side with some of those characters, heard their stories and slept alongside them, I can honestly tell you that they are not as bad as you think.

I wouldn’t recommend wearing expensive jewelry or flashing cash though. That might just be pushing it a bit.