This post was actually in draft before I posted the Continuum trilogy, and chronologically it belongs before them because in Continuum 1 I describe that I am old hat at navigating buses. This is how it happened.
Of all the things I anticipated upon moving to China, depression was the least of them. I knew I would suffer some dislocation discomfort, and missing everyone in the States would definitely be a factor, but I reasoned that, with email, video-chat and the like, along with the excitement of being in the country of my dreams, these manifestations would be manageable.
I did not reckon on living in the armpit of China - Wuhan, where everything is ugly and dirty, and I didn’t reckon that I would be confined to quarters after dark. I reasoned that shopping would be difficult at first, at least until I learned to read enough Chinese to decipher labels, but I didn’t figure on the absolute unavailability of products I had heretofore considered essentials of life. I didn’t reckon I would have to learn how to navigate the bus system on my own before I could go anywhere and I didn’t reckon on having to ride a ‘standing room only’ bus, all the time mindful of my bag against crafty pickpockets. I certainly didn’t anticipate riding over bumpy roads while sandwiched between all manner of people before I could get to anywhere I could walk decently. I didn’t know I would be made so uncomfortable by the constant scrutiny of those who had never seen a foreigner before, and those who had, but felt the need to stare all the same.
Those things tipped the scales into the ‘unmanageable’ region. There is nothing I can do about where I live; the university is situated where it is at, and I live on campus, and that’s that: nothing I can do about it.
I can’t force people to accept me and not gawk. I simply have to learn to live with it, and the more I explore the far reaches of this city, the more I have to deal with it. Nothing I can do about it.
I am contractually obligated to uphold Chinese culture and principles as long as I am working at this university. That means no walking around at night unescorted. Nothing I can do about that, either.
The bus system I could do something about, if I had a little help. A bus schedule maybe, or someone to explain how the buses run. Or, maybe there would be a website in English that I could peruse that would be of some use. No help forthcoming, and no website found.
With so much free time – I only teach an hour and a half on Monday and Wednesday, surely there could be some exploring I could do. But it just seems so daunting to have to 1. Put on clothes, 2. Walk to the bus stop, 3. Make sure I have enough money to ride a bus (2yuan per boarding), 4. Be able to find my way home that, on some days it just isn’t worth the bother. On top of all of the other ills like separation anxiety, dislocation, missing everyone, and wondering if I can actually do this job and do it well, I decided that staying home would not be such a bad thing at all.
I can feel the depression creeping in. It is not that I am powerless to stop it, it just seems too overwhelming a task to fight it.
I took to my bed and started sleeping the clock round. I figured that being awake for 12 hours was plenty when there was nothing to do but go out, score a little food, review a lesson plan or two and write emails.
Which was the cause and which the effect? I didn’t make a conscious decision to be depressed and sleep, but on the other hand I was kind of a victim of circumstance. One day, when I woke up at 1:30pm, I decided I had had enough of this nonsense. This is NOT what I came to China for.
Battling my lethargy, I forced myself out of the house and to the bus stop. I boarded the first bus that came by - #906, and made it to the train station. I walked around some and found that the train station is a major transportation hub: most buses terminate there, and then resume their routes all over the city. I made notes of all the bus numbers, went back home and jumped on the Internet with the intention of googling each individual bus number in conjunction with ‘Wuhan, China’ and lo and behold! My first hit: a website that not only told me where each bus went, it gave me the option of planning a route to a certain destination.
As always, if you only ask the right question, you get the answer you are looking for.
I have that website saved. Now, if I want to go somewhere, I look up the destination and find the various buses that will take me there. Or, if I have no particular destination in mind, I just go to the train station and jump on a random bus to see where it will take me and what is along the way.
Sometimes it is still nice to stay home, especially on a rainy day. But it is even better to know that I have the option of leaving home should I so desire, because the bus system is no longer so intimidating. I’ve made several forays out into the city without getting lost, and only once have I not made it back to campus before dark.
Furthermore, I’ve met many nice people in my jaunts that are just thrilled to talk with me. One young woman in particular, Susan, is studying traditional Chinese medicine at the college a few miles away. She started the conversation, and we talked until my stop. Fortunately she speaks very good English, We exchanged contact information. True to her word, we are still in touch and she has invited me to tour her campus.
I no longer sleep in 12-hour shifts. Now it is quite the opposite: I look forward to getting out of my jammies and going exploring!
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