Ken’s wedding now 6 hours
past, and with me not in attendance gives me time to tell you the difference
between weddings that happen in the city versus those in the country. I have
attended a wedding in the country over Winter Break but that whole episode left
a bad taste in my mouth (not from the food) so, as I recall, I promised to tell
you about it in the Village People entry (dated February of this year) but
never did. Now is the time.
Country weddings are
tinged by whatever ethnic minority culture that occupies it. There are 56
minority cultures in China, most of them centered in the country. Each culture
has its own traditions and rites.
I described a typical
city wedding in the George is Getting Married entry, posted December 2010. City
weddings tend to be more universal, the theme being: look how much money we
have. Indeed, in order to have a successful wedding the most expensive cars are
rented, the most lavish accommodations are reserved and the most costly food is
served.
I’m getting a bit ahead
of myself.
In a country wedding the
bride is called for by the groom and paraded through town. Traditionally
wedding gowns were red, and a square of red cloth covered the bride’s head and
hid her face, but even in the country they have now adopted the western ‘white
wedding’ type gown. Usually the gowns are rented, so the country bride has to
be very careful to not get mud on it while walking down dirt lanes. The
procession includes a marching band playing traditional music, and dancing
girls. At the end of the line come the groomsmen who play out long rolls of popping
firecrackers, dragging the streams along until they are depleted.
City weddings also make
use of the gown rental system but there is less of a worry about getting it
dirty because the bride is not paraded around on foot. She and the groom go
directly from the apartment to the rented cars and head off to the banquet
hall. In the city the cars take the most circuitous route, but drive all the
way to the dining facility. It is rather comical to watch a fleet of black
cars, decorated with flowers and, somewhere in the procession a videographer is
hanging out the window or sunroof, filming everything. In the country they drive
directly to the village but stop short of it. Everyone in the wedding party gets
out of the cars and walks to the groom’s home, playing games.
City weddings also
incorporate games, as described in the ‘George is Getting Married’ post. In the
country the games are a bit more ethnic. The wedding I attended, the elder male
relatives, with painted faces and their hair done up with flowers, at times try
to capture the bride to deliver her to the wedding home. The intent is to
disrupt the procession and hurry the wedding along, before the bride has time
to change her mind. The groomsmen and attendants try to stop them by shoving
them out of the way, blocking their path and even removing their shoes and
socks. The marching band and dancing girls have resumed their oddly discordant
musical renditions, and will continue to play and dance all the way to the
groom’s home.
Country weddings do not
make use of a banquet hall or restaurant. People have houses in the country, so
usually weddings are held there. I should specify that weddings are held at the
groom’s house. Invariably, the banquet is held outdoors. Nevertheless here too
lavishness seems to be key: the caterer serves dish after dish. The meals are
the sit down variety by necessity. It is difficult to eat a traditional Chinese
meal standing up so there must be enough room for the whole wedding party. Sometimes
the entire town is invited, so the banquet tables are set up on the main
throughfare.
In the country as in the
city, the bride and groom do not eat with their guests. They spend their time
serving the guests and circulating. Another commonality is the gifts offered to
the new couple: money. That offering is made in a red envelope. A typical sum
is 200Yuan per envelope. In the city the mothers of the bride and groom count
the money behind the scenes while the glitzy celebration goes on in the
forefront. In the country, the groom’s mother and father ceremoniously count
the money in front of all the guests. The new couple stands to the side,
looking on.
In the city, once the
meal is over, the city wedding is also over. The new couple stands at the door
of the restaurant, wishing everyone a safe ride home and proffering cigarettes
and candy. In the country there is music. Karaoke and traditional music play
long into the night. Sometimes a country wedding celebration can last for days.
Strangely enough, music does not factor in to a city wedding.
In the country the bride
is allowed to change her clothes for the dining and festivities portion of the
celebration. In the city the bride wears her gown all through the celebration.
Can you imagine her
discomfort?
One of the biggest
differences between weddings in China and in America, besides the lack of
reverence and religion, is that in America the bride and groom are served first
and are the focal point of the event. In China the exact opposite is true: the
bride and groom serve everyone and in fact, never even become the focus of the
wedding. The parents, the family, guests, games, accoutrements and attendants
are more important.
One very amusing game
played in a country wedding is when the bride tries to gain access to the
bridal suite. Those rooms are occupied by the younger male relatives of the
groom and they will not open the door until the proper amount of money is
handed over. There must be a red envelope for everyone in the room. The bride
has to guess how many are in the room and hand the envelopes through a crack in
the door. If she guesses wrong she has to keep trying until she ‘pays’ all of
her new, young male relatives to gain access to her rooms. Once she has gained
access she is allowed to change her clothes. Of course, the young male
relatives leave before she does, and she is attended to by the female relatives
of the groom.
The particular wedding I
attended, it did not seem the bride enjoyed herself very much. When the male
relatives attempted to ‘kidnap’ her she slid off their backs and took off
running by herself. She ran in the right direction – toward her future husband’s
home. I asked my friend Dash why the bride ran off. She told me it was because
she was from a different ethnic group, whose wedding traditions were a bit more
sedate. It was cold outside and the poor bride, dressed only in so much froth
and lace, was getting tired of messing around. Can’t say as I blame her.
A few other details: in
both country and city weddings, photography takes place months before the
actual ceremony. I touched on that last year April, in an entry called Sunny +
70 = Frolic. I’d like to get a little deeper into it, if I may.
In America, wedding
photography tends to involve elaborate posing with various members of the
wedding party and family, taken during and after the ceremony. Candid shots are
taken during the reception.
In China wedding
photography is done months up to 6 months in advance. Only the couple are
photographed, and not in wedding finery. Photographers interview their
customers to decide on a theme, and
then they – the couple and the photographers, select an array of costumes
ranging from the bizarre – a zoot suit, complete with spats for him and a
flapper dress for her – to the artistic. Sam and Penny’s wedding had a nautical
theme. I witnessed a bride wearing a traditional Korean costume being photographed
atop a wall. Various props are used: toy guns, guitars, plastic flowers, fans
and the like. The couple strikes curious poses, giving the appearance of fun. Sometimes
the bride is photographed by herself, but not the groom.
Hair and makeup are done
in the studio before the whole entourage hits the streets for their photography
session. By entourage I mean photographer and assistants (at least 3), makeup
and hair artists (for touch ups), and the bride and groom. Wedding photography
is a day-long affair.
According to Sam, a
wedding is quite an accomplishment. He and Penny let me watch their wedding
video (actually shot on the day of the wedding). Neither one looked
particularly enthused throughout the whole shindig. Sam said it was because it
was such an exhausting day, about midway through it all he wanted to do was go
to sleep. Of course, he is glad he is married but wished the whole event could
have been a little lower key.
But, when in China, and
when the theme is showing off and lavishness…
Here’s wishing Ken and
Della a happy union and a long life together, even if you and I weren’t there
to celebrate with them.
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