Let’s see: we left each other while I was connecting my trusty laptop, right? So now I have everything connected after puzzling out the various wires, and I’m powered up, and I click on Firefox and… no connection established! What could be wrong? I went over my connections again, reset the modem and… no connection established! I couldn’t get online!
This may sound strange, but I was more frantic over this than my need for sleep or the state the apartment was in. I just had to get online! I was missing people! I needed to open my inbox and see some emails! I needed a connection to the outside world! Somehow, not being able to connect to the internet just capped this trying travel adventure for me; it was an inglorious end to a miserable trip. I felt alone, disconnected, abandoned.
I tried the university-provided computer, and after several tries, I was able to establish a connection to a server. I literally cried with relief and kept my fingers crossed that I would be able to access g-mail. Triumph! The page loaded! I logged in and settled in to read the 20-some odd emails that had accumulated. People missed me! People wondered about me! In this hyper-filthy apartment where I was having second thoughts about laying my head down (even though the pillow was brand new), I felt not quite so alone. I sent my ‘Got Here Safely’ message and then decided against unpacking my footlockers with my linens in them. I just had to clean this place up before I unpacked anything.
So I made use of the linens provided to me to make up the bed and take a shower. A short digging expedition into my suitcase yielded my soap and shampoo, a little more digging and I had clean clothes to wear after my shower. Either I was moving in slow motion because of fatigue or I just really enjoyed that shower, because I ran it until the water ran cold. (Only later did I find out that the water heater is a small capacity unit; I’m going to have to learn to shower quickly!) When I pulled back the shower curtain I found a substantial puddle on the floor directly in front of the bathtub; stepping out of the tub meant stepping into dirty water. I couldn't figure how to get around the problem, so I stepped into the puddle on the floor and then threw the towel down after I was done drying myself. I decided then and there that, from now on, that towel would do for my floor mat, and I would have to call maintenance to fix the plumbing.
I had no sense of time by now: minutes or hours flew by; I’m not sure which. After making up the bed and cleaning myself up, I wanted to unwind in the little park I saw out my bathroom window. I decided to go for a short walk before napping, but unbeknownst to me, Sam’s apartment is two doors down from mine. He came rushing out in a panic when he saw me walk by, wondering if something was wrong. I neglected to mention the plumbing problem, but slurred that I had to relax a little bit before I could go to sleep.
Besides, I had an ulterior motive. Considering the time difference, my significant other would still be awake and he would have received my message on his BlackBerry. I desperately needed to hear from him before I could consider sleeping. As always immediately after separating from him, the hunger and need for him was overwhelming but now even more so now that I was on the other side of the world. Some reassurance from him would go a long way to help me feel more… balanced, so I could actually go to sleep. He hadn’t written anything while I was in the shower, and I wanted to give him time to respond.
It was a very short walk. I might have known this before, but suddenly I was made aware of how hard it is to walk on rubbery legs and swollen feet. On the other hand, the park was lovely in the morning sunshine. One short lap around it and I headed home, no doubt to Sam’s relief.
There were new emails! I read them all, saving his for last. His genuine concern over the length of the trip, and his expression of discomfort and unease about my living in a foreign country was exactly what I needed to hear; I responded to him with sincerity. Sure, I had put on a brave front for everyone else when I sent my original, blanket notification email, but to him I confessed my true feelings: ‘You have no idea how alone and scared I feel right now…”, to which he responded, immediately and comfortingly: “We have email, we have communication, you now have a bed to sleep in and a roof over your head. There’s a lot to be said for that. Sleep comfortably.”
What better advice could he have given me? I crawled into my strange new bed and cried myself to sleep.
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