China's Lin Dan, Olympic badminton gold-medalist, is in the
news again, but not for swinging his racket. He is caught up in a different
racket: an extra-marital affair. Adding insult to injury, this athlete indulged
himself while his wife endured life as a near-term pregnant woman.
Lin Dan
Social media exploded! All over Weibo, China's Twitter
equivalent, people decried his outrage as the act of... of... well, there
aren't really any words to describe his tumble from grace. Girls and women all
across China are now declaring they will never marry because they don't want
their husbands to be unfaithful, like that worm of a man called Lin Dan.
And, in their opinion, that is doing worms a disservice.
I have been to several weddings in China – more like wedding
receptions the west is familiar with, as they are held in restaurants and
hosted by an emcee. I've even had the honor of hosting a wedding. At no time
during any of these events did I hear the words standard to weddings elsewhere:
“To have and to hold, to keep solely onto each other...” - in other words, to
be faithful. And I did not say them at Gary's wedding.
Is monogamy implied in Chinese marriages? And does the
concept of 'faithfulness' relate only to sex?
Many Chinese women I know are quite satisfied with their
husbands having a sexual relationship with other women, as long as he continues
providing for them and their child. In fact, it has long been a standard of
Chinese culture that affluent men take a mistress or two: it is a symbol of
their wealth. As long as the husband faithfully discharges his duties to his
wife, namely that she does not suffer economically or socially, all has been
OK, at least on the surface of things. How those wives actually feel about
their husbands laying with another woman is obscure, most likely because of
'face' (see previous entry). Being monogamous has only recently become important
to China's unions, as far as I can tell.
What is so scary about people's reaction to Lin Dan's
'sidestep' – as such affairs are called in German, is women/girls saying they
now do not wish to ever marry. Not that I believe such a ritual is a necessary
step for anyone in these days where women have the right to secure employement
and housing for themselves – as opposed to past times when women were not
allowed a career or to own property.
Except... in China there is an archaic belief that if a woman
is not married by the time she is mid-twenties, she is an old maid. And if a
man is not married by mid-thirties,
there must be something wrong with him. Even in these days, those
beliefs persist. If only for convention, marriage seems necessary in China.
However, there is a greater for worry for this country.
As it is, China
labors under a gender imbalance. The ratio of men to women in China is:
115 eligible men to 100 eligible women.
Sociologists and family planners are looking for solutions to this gender
imbalance. Where to find marriageable women for 'leftover' men? And when they
marry... IF they marry...
A detriment of the Chinese family planning policy is that,
for years, each married couple were permitted only one child. In sociological terms:
they weren't producing enough children to replace themselves. While the
one-child policy has merit – it controlled population growth in accord with the
resources China at the time, it has caused negative population growth, a
sociological term that expresses the number of births versus the number of
deaths a society.
The Ukraine currently tops the list of countries with
negative population growth: scientists project that country losing 28% of its
population by the year 2050. Close behind is Japan, the only non-European
country on the list, with no increase in births from year to year, and an
ever-aging population. They are expected to lose 21% of their population within
the next thirty years. (http://geography.about.com/od/populationgeography/a/zero.htm)
China's family planning policy has relented to allow each
married couple 2 children. That is great foresight and urgently needed, seeing
as China's population is aging faster than young marrieds can produce children.
Sociologists predict China will be playing catch-up to maintain population
growth, if only in order to sustain its elderly citizens.
But family planning policies do nothing for unwed mothers.
Women about to give birth must present a marriage
certificate upon admission to the hospital to deliver. Without a marriage
certificate, they could (would?) be denied care. At the very least, they would
be reported to the authorities, and, according to the family planning policy of
their region, fined, possibly up to 2 years' wages. Furthermore, unwed mothers
do not receive reimbursement for medical expenses; they must bear the cost of
their (and their child's) hospital stay alone, quite possibly with no family
support – financial or emotional. And that says nothing about the shame they
would incur for being an unwed mother. You can see why not many women would
choose that route to motherhood.
Read about single mothers in China here:
http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/790393.shtml
And now, the faithless act of one public figure has turned
women all over China off from marriage. In spite of traditional beliefs that
women must be married or dubbed 'old maid' (剩女 - sheng nu). In spite of
almost being legally bound to marry in order to have a child.
If social mores remain the same – heavily stimatizing and
penalizing unwed mothers, there is a good chance that population growth will
screech to a halt. As long as women refuse marriage, there won't be any
children born, unless women break the rules and pay that heavy price, not the
least of which is being ostracized from family.
Lin Dan might have gained fame for more than winning a few
Olympic gold medals. He may well be the catalyst of an evolution in Chinese
culture unlike anyone could have foreseen.
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