Confession time: I do not post on this blog. Have I told you about that? I don’t think so. So, I confess: I do not post this blog. I cannot even access this blog.
Two years ago, in order to better monitor (or censor, if you prefer) material that might damage the morals of the Chinese people or the integrity of the culture, the Chinese government blocked sites like Facebook, MySpace and most all blog sites, this one included. I have not seen my own blog since I’ve been in China.
But don’t let me mislead you: I do write the blogs. The credit for you getting to read them goes to my conspirators, who shall remain unnamed. I write the entries in Word format and attach them, along with any relevant pictures, to an email and send it to my conspirators, who then diligently and faithfully post them in the order specified.
In part, let this entry be a tribute to my unnamed conspirators. If they wish to be named, I will do so in a later entry, but for now I don’t have their permission to divulge their identity. Just please: thank them heartily and well.
Being as I cannot see my own blog, how could I know that I’ve written over 100 entries? I was only clued into the fact by my conspirator, just a few days ago.
This is huge, all! This is stupendous! I’ll tell you why: usually, I have no follow-through.
The only other thing I’ve done with any consistency in my life is raise my children. That is the only task I have stuck with for the duration. I have abandoned jobs, walked away from friendships, places, homes, and anything else you can imagine, leaving a trail of debris and detritus behind me. I’ve taken my kids with me, until they grew old enough to determine that they are done living with me and struck out on their own. Otherwise and since then, I’ve not seen anything through.
I wonder about that, now that I see it in print… it is not exactly flattering.
Several years ago, someone told me: “You’d be just the kind of girl to vote the county dry and then start drinking.” At the time, I wondered what he meant. Was it an insult, a compliment or just an observation of an obvious character flaw of mine? Has his decree become prophetic or have I always been destined to be this way?
I’ve always been a ‘big picture’ kind of girl. I don’t like details and I don’t have the patience to work things out. I can usually come up with stellar ideas, but doing the work to make those ideas a reality is my weak point. I suppose that, one way you can describe me is ‘flash in the pan’. Not a very attractive quality, I admit. Like that Bob Seeger song, ‘I’m running against the wind.’ That seems to be my nature. And, as the song says: I’m older now, but still running against the wind.
Now you understand why it is such a huge deal that I’ve actually kept up with this blog. Not just writing it, but engaging an admittedly more than willing pair of conspirators to make sure that each entry gets published.
And, is it sheer happenstance that the 100th entry just happened to be How I Spent My Chinese New Year? I could not have figured the timing on that better than if I did have access to the blog page and could have calculated that. How fortuitous that the 100th entry turned out to by the chronicling of my first Chinese New Year in China. I know I’ve told you that I’ve felt serendipity lending a gentle hand to my circumstances while living here, but helping on the timing of that blog post? How serendipitous is that? Can you say ‘meant to be’?
I had to do the math on this. I’ve been here since August 25th, but started writing the blog at the end of July. If you figure since I’ve been in China, that works out to an average of one entry every 32 hours or so. If calculated since the end of July, it works out to an average of one entry every 38 hours. That is a lot of writing.
Add to that the fact that, not only have I developed staying power to write this blog but I’m also to keeping up regular email conversations with several friends. And this has gone on for six months!
What happened? Am I no longer running against the wind, or is the wind finally stilling? Have I voted the country dry and stopped drinking? Have I finally realized that, at some point in life, I have to stop walking away and embrace what I have?
Am I growing up… again???
TV shows make a big deal out of their 100th episodes. As they only produce an average of 24 episodes per season, it takes them better than 4 seasons to reach that milestone. No wonder they celebrate it!
How many seasons have I been through that I can celebrate this milestone? How much growth, how many prunings, how many times of my efforts not bearing fruit have brought me to this 100th episode? Well, all of my life. And, all of you. My sense of responsibility to you keeps me at this keyboard, recording impressions and relaying events. Would I have cared ten years ago, or even five years ago to write things down after the initial few months?
Who knows and who cares? Let us now celebrate our 100th episode together. Throw a big party for my conspirators, have a generous slice of cake and let me do what I’m bound to do: write blog postings.
If I were to give a speech, such as those who are given an award after a particularly outstanding accomplishment, I would have to say: “All the credit goes to __________ and ________ for making the blog publicly available, and to everyone who reads it. This award is for you. I can’t thank you enough for your interest and your feedback. My desire is only that I keep writing.
And, keep writing I will. Before the wind picks up again.